A White Lie Cake

  Chronic Illness Humor

  Sven and Ole

  One Liners

  The 12 Warning Signs of Good Health

  Seven Wonders

  Prayers for Myers-Briggs Types

  HI-CA Highway

  20 Oxymorons

  FAQs About HMOs

  Mikey’s Funnies

CHRONIC ILLNESS HUMOR

You know you have a chronic illness when …

1. You understand all the medical terminology discussed on the TV show Grey's Anatomy.
2. When you hear the term "Club Med" you automatically think of the hospital.
3. You ask your child to open the "child-proof" bottles of medicine because your hands are too sore.
4. Your medical records have to be transported on a cart.
5. To entertain people at parties you recite the side effects of medications as if you are the voice-over on a commercial.
6. Your favorite Oprah program is when Dr. Oz is on.
7. To get rid of boredom on road trips, your whole family can go through the alphabet and name a drug that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
8. When you're unable to sleep because of pain, you watch The Jerry Springer Show and feel like you actually have a life.
9. Your spelling has improved dramatically, especially on words like "fibromyalgia" and "osteoporosis."
10. Or you've been "Around the World in Thirty Minutes" with CNN's Headline News 57 times in one sitting.
11. You have a panic attack in public and say, "Praise God this is only the fourth one today!"
12. You're invited to the wedding of the gal who works at the hospital lab.
13. Your child thinks watching you do injections of medication is "cool."
14. You have a flashback and don't know what happened and can honestly say, "I don't know where I was or what I was doing, but I'll make something up if you'd like."

Reprinted with permission of Lisa Copen, Copyright 2007,
National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, http://www.invisibleillness.com